In the midst of struggling with childhood sexual abuse, it is so easy to
shake an angry fist at God and ask “WHY?!!!” I know God works all things for our good. I know he promised that whatever happens we will prosper and have
hope. But, sometimes it just sucks. There, I said it. Yes, I get angry and
demand to know the endgame. I can’t imagine what good could come out of what
happened to me and all the years that I suffered in silence. How in the world
was that for my good? Well, that’s
just the point, isn’t it? The good isn’t necessarily in this world, but in the next. The ultimate good may be the
strengthening of our faith through struggles. I know I am ten times stronger
than I was in my person and in my faith. And, I am thankful for that. When I
get to heaven, all this will be a mere blurp in the history of me. What is 20
years compared to eternity? My hope, my joy, is that I know eventually I will
be there and none of this will matter…and God will wipe away every tear from my
eye. (Revelation 7:17) Aaah, peace.
So, how do we get through each day while we wait for Judgment Day? Some
days it is too difficult to see how God is using his people. Today, I was
blessed with a day where it became very evident to me. Today was a day when I
was actually thankful for my
struggles. A dear friend is hurting. She has battled severe anxiety from
childhood. Tonight, she shared with me that she was having difficulty handling
it and she needed to start seeing a doctor again. My heart broke for her; she
is one of the sweetest, most selfless, most caring people I know. She doesn’t
deserve this affliction. But, God will bless her through it somehow. For now,
he has made sure we are close enough that she felt comfortable talking to me
about it. She knows my history of anxiety and sometimes just knowing someone
“gets it” helps. Because of everything I went through, I was able to give her
some peace, some strength, some support.
Every so often, God gives us a stepping stone that gets us through the
vast sea of crap that we deal with here on earth, away from home. Every so
often, we see how God is working
things for the good of those who love him. (Romans 8:28) Was this good for
someone else today? Yea, but it was definitely a blessing for me to be able to help her.
To that friend and to anyone who is suffering and faltering, Romans
8:18-39
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth
comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of
God to be revealed. For the creation
was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one
who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its
bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
We
know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth
right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the
firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption
as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope
that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet
have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do
not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us
with groans that words cannot express.
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit
intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of
those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed
to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified;
those he justified, he also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to
this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but
gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us
all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is
God who justifies. Who is he
that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is
at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us
from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or
nakedness or danger or sword? As
it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day
long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these
things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced
that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor
the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all
creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ
Jesus our Lord.”
The End, Amen
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