As I have mentioned before, in an almost paranoid fashion, I
am constantly scanning my environment and assessing those around me for
threats. It is involuntary, it is Unagi.
That feeling in the pit of your stomach that something is
wrong? Unagi. That unease when you meet someone new and they creep you out a
bit? Unagi. The three bears had Unagi. They knew someone had been in their
home, in their chairs and beds, and eating their porridge. Ok, so they had more
evidence than just their Unagi.
When I was living in Florida, my already hyperactive Unagi
was in overdrive. Everyone creeped me out. I didn’t trust anyone. Then, while
working at a restaurant, this huge guy would not leave me alone. When he wasn’t
staring at me from his perch at the bar, he was following me around the
restaurant. Then he came in repeatedly asking for me and trying to find out
when I worked. Several times he refused to leave unless I talked to him…um, yeah, like that was going to happen.
My Unagi really didn’t like him. Even more creepy was when he showed up with a
girl who looked eerily similar to me…
Some months later, I had just gotten home from work around
930pm and was talking to my sister in her bedroom (she’s a teacher, they go to
bed early). I heard a noise at the door. Knowing my Unagi was sensitive, I
shook it off. Then it happened again. My sister asked if I heard it and if I
locked the door…um, of course, who did
she think she was talking to? Anyways, she went to sleep and I hopped in
the shower. Shortly thereafter, I was watching TV when I heard a noise at the
door like someone hand grabbed the doorknob and inserted a key. I ran to the
door and punched it, denting the door. (Yay me!) But, when I peered through the
peep hole, I saw nothing and no one. I thought I may have gone crazy. I grabbed
a can of wasp spray and dared whoever it was to come back and try to mess with
me…but nothing. My sister didn’t really believe me when I told her the next
day. Aah, salmon skin roll. I can’t
blame her; my Unagi is much more sensitive than hers. For the next several
weeks, I slept with that can of wasp spray by my bed and a light by the door-The
Light of Unagi to be exact. Weeks went by and nothing happened. Then, when my
sister was visiting her now husband out of town, I returned home from a
graduation party around 10pm. I was talking on the phone with my mom, when I
walked in the door and got an instant spike in Unagi. Something wasn’t right,
but I didn’t want to alarm my mom, so I blew it off. About 30 minutes later, I
was on the phone with a friend in Michigan when I heard the sound again at the
door. Recognizing it immediately, I told her that I thought someone was trying
to get in. She was yelling at me to get something to hit him with, when I saw
the lock turn open. I ran to the door, and a nearly unrecognizable voice from
somewhere deep inside me yelled, “GET THE F*** AWAY FROM MY APARTMENT!!!” I
hung up and dialed 911. The poor dispatcher had to stay on the phone with me in
my panic until the police officers arrived. Who, by the way, knocked on the
door without identifying themselves…uh,
yea, like I’m going to open the door. They found no signs that anyone had
been there but mentioned that the complex had a voyeur and had a rash of
burglaries in recent months. Awesome.
I called some friends to come pick me up so I didn’t have to stay alone there.
The next morning they returned with me to make sure there were no recording
devices in the apartment, which there were not. I had to fight the feeling that
I was crazy, that my Unagi was too sensitive. I know what I saw, I didn’t
hallucinate the lock opening like that. It was awful, I couldn’t sleep for
months. In fact, I don’t think I slept even after we moved to a new second
story apartment. I still left the lights on during the night and a TV on while
I was gone to convince said threat that I was not alone. I also developed the
usage of “The Rock of Unagi.” The Rock of Unagi was a little rock that I would
put in front of the door in a very particular place, one that couldn’t be
reached from inside the door. If that rock was moved, I knew someone had been
or was at that moment inside. It gave me great comfort. There were no other
incidents that I know of. I chalk up the lack of incident on both occasions to
the efficacy of my Unagi.
My Unagi helped me again when I noticed a man following me
around Walmart. He literally followed me everywhere in the store, through
checkout and out into the parking lot. It was daytime, so I wasn’t too scared
and my Unagi had prepared me for action. This girl has no flight in her, I
fight. And, I was ready to fight should he attempt to touch me. He ended up
following me to my car and commented on the appearance of my derriere. He was
on the receiving end of a few terse words. Other than that exchange, it was a
nonevent. Thanks to my Unagi, I was prepared for him and I’m sure the look on
my face told him to F*** off. My Unagi had saved me again.
All joking aside, I do believe that those of us who have
been violated in some way, whether it is sexual abuse, robbery, stalking, have
an increase sense of awareness of our environment. We are on alert for threats,
we don’t want to be violated again. Some days it drives me crazy, other days it
is an invaluable tool. I like to think that am working on developing my Unagi
to a point of maximum effectiveness without hyperactivity. I am aware of the
environment around me, but I am less fearful than I once was. Progress. I also have the confidence
that if someone were to mess with me, I’d most likely rip them to shreds. Which
is a good feeling.
I love my Unagi.
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