Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Friday, August 2, 2013

Wake up, the whole world is sinful.

 If you think something like this can’t happen in your own family, you’re dreaming. I don’t mean to sound critical of you or your family. I don’t know each and every family that might have someone stumble upon this blog. But, what I do know is that if it can happen in my family, it can happen in yours. 

Not that my family is special or superior, (although, sometimes I think we think we are, subconsciously) we are your average lower to middle class Midwestern family. Each one of us was raised going to parochial schools, most of us straight through college. We all were raised knowing the Lord and with a firm foundation in the Bible.

There have been times when I’ve thought, “how in hell did this happen in my family?!” Well, even my family is sinful, horribly sinful. The devil found a weakness he could manipulate. The devil found a crack in a family member’s faith that he wedged himself into and polluted with his godlessness. That is all it took. 

How can you know if someone has abused a little one in your family? I have no idea. I was a master at hiding my fear and anxiety. No one knew. My grandparents suspected something was wrong, but I’m sure they never imagined this. Friends in high school and college could tell I was struggling, but they knew my family and I’m sure it never crossed their minds. I don’t blame them. You can’t police your entire family. You can’t protect them from the sinfulness of this world. The world is sinful. You can’t run away from that. 

So, what is the point of me writing this post? In the time since I started this blog, I have had countless people approach me, send emails, approach family members and say, “Yea, it happened to me too.” Not only are the victims people I know, some of the perpetrators are people I know. This breaks my heart and makes me angry. The devil has so poisoned our lives that no one is untouched by his deceit. I hate him with my whole heart for causing so much pain for so many. To use a quote from one of my favorite pastors, I want to shout, “Go back to hell, you bastard!”

Ok, angry time is over. We’re all allowed to be angry. We hate the devil, sin, and our sinful flesh…and the sinful flesh of our abusers. But, be careful; don’t let the devil use this to weaken your own faith. Because, “Whoever hates his brother is a murderer.” (Disclaimer: don’t misinterpret the usage of “brother”, I’m quoting the Bible.) How much more elated will the devil be if he gets a 2-for-1 deal? First, he entices someone to abuse you. Now, he is using that hurt and pain to turn you away from God toward hatred for another one of God’s children. Instead, pray without ceasing for the person who did this to you. Pray that they repent. Pray that the Holy Spirit strengthens their faith. Pray, that when Judgment Day comes or we pass away, that these people will also be there in heaven, their sins forgiven. Yes, this is a bitter pill for our sinful flesh to swallow. But, no sin is greater than another. Even the murderer on the cross with Jesus was forgiven his sins. Jesus told him, he would enter paradise. Jesus forgives us all that we do; he forgives pedophiles and rapists too. True grace, how amazing. 

This is peace for me. Peace, that there is hope for the person who did this to me. I have forgiven him. He has forgiveness through Jesus. Thank God. He is my family and I love him. 

This doesn’t mean we have to be best friends with our abusers. This doesn’t mean we have to speak to them ever again. This would, no doubt, be horribly painful for us. I have no intentions of ever seeing this person again, but I pray for him daily. I pray for his family, our family, that there is forgiveness among all of us. I pray that one day we will all be in heaven together.



I am not a saint. I am not delusional. But, it hurts me to be angry. It hurts me to hate. When I pray for him, I am at peace. I have hope for him.

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